Where I Need to Be Read online

  Where I Need To Be

  By

  Kimberly Knight

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  COPYRIGHT

  DEDICATION

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  COPYRIGHT

  No portion of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any print or electronic form without permission

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The subject matter is not appropriate for minors. Please note this novel contains profanity, explicit sexual situations, and alcohol consumption.

  Where I Need To Be

  Copyright © 2012 Kimberly Knight

  Published by Kimberly Knight

  Cover art © by Kimberly Knight

  All rights reserved.

  DEDICATION

  For my family, friends, my Smutty Mafia ladies and to all who have supported me through this crazy journey.

  CHAPTER ONE

  When life hands you lemons, they say to make lemonade. Well, life just handed me a whole lemon tree. Three weeks ago, I felt like nothing in my life could go wrong. I was in Hawaii with my best friend, Ryan Kennedy, her boyfriend, Max, and who I had thought to be the love of my life, Travis.

  Travis and I met almost two years before at a New Year’s Eve party that Ryan invited me to. Her boyfriend had just made partner at his law firm and threw a huge party at his house to celebrate his promotion and ring in the New Year.

  Travis was an attorney at the firm as well and I would like to say it was love at first sight, but looking back, it was never love. I was instantly attracted to Travis but it had taken us a few dates to actually click. He had short brown hair, green eyes and a sweet, innocent, charming side to him. The side that opened doors for you, pulled out your chair and even cooked and cleaned up after himself. I thought I had met the one. Wrong.

  “Alright, Spencer Marshall, it is time to get your ass off the couch and start acting like you have a life again,” Ryan said as she came storming into our house stomping on the hardwood floors with her heels. She stopped walking when she reached the couch I was sitting on––the couch which was starting to grow accustomed to my daily and nightly ritual and had formed the perfect indention of my butt. “You have been moping around here for two weeks and I am no longer going to let my best friend waste her life away over a guy.”

  “Go away!” I shouted at her as I stuffed my face with a spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream. “I’m fine.” Ryan was right though, I needed to stop moping. My mom always told me that no man was worth my tears. But in all honesty, after dating someone for almost two years, aren't you allowed a few tears and some depression after you walk into his office and find him banging his secretary on his desk? I had just wanted to surprise him and take him to lunch. Didn’t realize he had a surprise for me, too.

  “Tomorrow night I’m going to scope out that new gym Club 24 that opened near my office. My boss is writing a story about it and asked me to use the free two-week membership pass we got to do some research and get the low-down so she can use it in her article for the website.”

  I worked as an Executive Assistant to the CEO of a start-up internet company based out of San Francisco called Better Keep Jogging Baby or better known by our website, www.bkjb.com. Our company was dedicated to providing fitness and nutrition information to the world.

  “Spencer, you better or I will kick your ass when you get home and drag you to the gym with me on Tuesday morning.” Ryan and I met our freshman year of college at UC Santa Cruz nine years ago when we were eighteen. Over the years I’d learned that her threats were really promises. She was not kidding.

  “Alright, alright, I’ll go pack my gym bag…after I finish this bowl of ice cream.” Ryan rolled her eyes at me and I stuck my tongue out at her. I appreciated her support and enthusiasm, but I had never been a morning person and I wasn’t about to start now.

  *~*~*

  My Monday workday dragged on and on, and all I wanted to do was go home, get in my PJs, and watch The Voice. When five o’clock rolled around, I honestly had half a mind to bypass the gym and do exactly that. But I remembered Ryan’s threat, and I sure as shit didn’t want her waking me up at 5:00 a.m. to go to the gym before work. Regardless it was part of my job, and at least my boss had promised me extra vacation hours for doing this for her.

  Alright, time to get this shit over with. Club 24 was an up and coming chain and I needed a new gym anyway. I used to go to the gym with my ex, Travis, or as Ryan liked to call him now, TravAss. I really hoped that I would never have to see him again, so thankfully this gym opened a little over a month ago and was close to work and home.

  The gym was packed with the usual after-work crowd, but there were two treadmills open next to each other. Claiming one of them for myself, I popped in my iPod ear buds and started to walk briskly for my warm-up. Listening to music while running always seemed to clear my head and right now I needed nothing but to let my mind go numb.

  After running for five minutes, I thought I was going to pass out. I envisioned myself rolling off the treadmill like I had seen a few times on The Biggest Loser. That was all I needed with this packed gym. I slowed the treadmill back down to walk for a few minutes to catch my breath. Shortly after that, I noticed that someone had stepped onto the treadmill next to me.

  I glanced to my right and that’s when I noticed him for the first time. Trying not to get caught staring, I eyed him with my peripheral vision. Always a plus to have eye candy when you’re doing something you really don’t want to do. He was about six feet tall, appeared to be around my age of twenty-seven, had chestnut brown hair that was just long enough to have a messy spiky look, and broad shoulders… and oh wow—a smile that made my heart stop.

  Of course, I was caught staring. Shit.

  I reached for my phone and quickly texted Ryan.

  Me: OMFG, I have my very own Gideon Cross at the gym. Hot guy running on the treadmill next to me! :)

  Ryan: Jealous! Don’t tell Max, LOL…I want all the details TONIGHT.

  When I looked into the mirror in front of me, I noticed that my face was bright red. It was either from being exhausted on the treadmill or from being caught checking him out—probably a mixture of the two. After a few minutes of walking, I thought to myself, Alright, you can’t let this guy think you’re that out of shape. I sped back up to what I considered an energetic pace and started jogging again.

  It had been at least a month since I had been to the gym. Before I discovered TravAss having a nooner with his secretary, Misty, we were in Hawaii. What a sad cliché, right? Little did I know that when Travis said he was getting texts from work, he really meant texts from Misty about what she couldn’t wait to do to him when he was back home.

  After another twenty minutes of jogging—and a few covert glances to my right—I couldn’t take anymore. I stopped the treadmill and wiped it down. While backing off the treadmill, I peeked at his ass. What a perfect ass…Yep, my endorphins were flowing now. Taking
a few steps towards the locker room, I glanced over my right shoulder to find him staring at me. Holy shit. Our eyes met and he gave me that heart-stopping smile he flashed when he first got on the treadmill. More a smirk than a smile, it still made my heart skip a beat.

  *~*~*

  Ryan was waiting for me when I walked into our house. “I ordered Chinese. It’ll be here in ten. Go shower and then we can veg and you can tell me all about this hottie.”

  “There isn’t really much to tell.”

  “Anything is better than nothing. I have been with Max for three years. I need to live the single life vicariously through you now.”

  “Gee thanks,” I said and we both giggled.

  After getting out of the shower, I smelled the aroma of the Chinese takeout Ryan had ordered. Great, I just went to the gym and now I’m going to have a 3000 calorie meal.

  “What’s on the menu tonight?” I asked as I walked into the kitchen and started opening the Chinese take-out boxes on the breakfast bar. Ryan’s parents owned the house and rented it to us. They’d remodeled it for us as a graduation present and the kitchen was one of our favorite rooms. It was spacious and modern with stainless steel appliances and granite counter tops, but its white oak cabinets also gave it a homey feel.

  “Only our favorites––Kung Pao Chicken, Broccoli Beef, Fried Rice and Cream Cheese Wontons.”

  Yep, that was an easy 3000 calories each. I gave an inward sigh.

  “Alright, spill,” Ryan demanded as she forked a piece of broccoli and bit into it with a crunch.

  I paused to dip a Cream Cheese Wonton in sweet and sour sauce before stuffing it in my mouth. Savoring the creamy filling with a bit of tangy sweetness, I licked my fingers and sighed in contentment. “Like I said, there isn’t much to say. I went to the gym and there was a total hottie running on the treadmill next to me.”

  “Well, what did he look like?”

  I reached into the cabinet and grabbed a couple of wine glasses for us. Retrieving a bottle of chilled Moscato from the wine fridge, I poured a glass for each of us. I handed one to Ryan and we went to the living room and sat down on the floor by the coffee table. “Well, I’d say he’s about six foot, around our age, with kind of short light brown hair...you know, just how I like them, and a smile…man, that smile makes me melt. I couldn’t stare long enough to get a good look though. I just hope he is there again tomorrow.”

  Ryan continued to quiz me, but as I had told her repeatedly, I had been at the gym for less than an hour and hadn’t even spoken to him. I had just snuck a few glances here and there. Well hoped I snuck a few glances; I did get caught a few times.

  After polishing off all of the food and watching a two hour episode of The Voice, I was beat. “Alright, I’m going to call it a night. I’ll see you tomorrow when I get home from the gym,” I said as I walked into the kitchen and put our dishes in the dishwasher.

  “Wait, we forgot about our fortunes,” Ryan said, tossing a fortune cookie to me.

  Not only did we sometimes play the lotto numbers on the fortunes, but it was also tradition to add “in bed” at the end and giggle like little girls. “Oh right. What does yours say?” I asked as I cracked mine open.

  “Courtesy is contagious… in bed.”

  “I bet Max would like that fortune for you,” I said, laughing at her.

  “I bet he would, too," she said, laughing as well. "What does yours say?”

  “Be prepared to receive something special…in bed.”

  Ryan snatched the fortune out of my hand. “I bet that hottie at the gym has something to do with this!”

  “Yeah right, I’m sure I will never see him again or get up the courage to talk to him.”

  “Uh huh. If you don't talk to him by the end of the week, I'm going down there.”

  Knowing Ryan and her threats, I hoped something did happen before she took control. It was also more motivation to get my ass to the gym. I had already decided that tomorrow I was going to go back and try the free kickboxing class they offered twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

  *~*~*

  Tuesday and Wednesday, I didn’t see him when I went to the gym. I was starting to think that I never would get to see him again. But then I walked into the kickboxing class on Thursday night and there he was in the second row. I almost tripped over my own feet when I noticed him.

  I was running a little late, so I stayed in the back of the class. Good thing, because it gave me the opportunity to stare at that perfect ass. About halfway through the class, the teacher told us to partner up so we could work on our abs by doing crunches.

  I glanced up from beneath my lashes and he was looking at me with that smile I remembered from Monday. But he didn’t make a move toward me and I didn’t move toward him, though I badly wanted the guts to say something. Then the woman next to me offered to be my partner and I lost my chance.

  While I was holding her legs, I glanced over and he was looking at me again. At least I thought he was. I casually glanced around to see who else he might be looking at, but the only other person it could have been was one of the guys who had partnered up on my right. Great––it’d be just my luck if he was gay.

  After the class ended, I headed to the locker room. Just as I was about to enter, I heard a man’s voice say “excuse me”. My heart stopped. But when I turned around, it was only one of the guys who had been on my right side during crunches. “I think you forgot your towel.” Disappointed that it wasn’t my hottie who had stopped me, I thanked him as he handed my towel to me and then hurried into the locker room to change and head home.

  *~*~*

  Friday night I headed straight home after work. It had been a long day and all I wanted was to take a long bath, heat up a Lean Cuisine and watch a chick flick.

  I was halfway through Serendipity when Ryan stormed through the front door. She and Max always made Friday night “date night” and normally, she would spend the entire weekend at Max’s place. “Hey, what are you doing home?” When I looked at her more closely and noticed that she had been crying, I quickly jumped up to give her a hug. “Oh my God, Ryan! What’s wrong?”

  Ryan accepted my hug and then took a minute to collect herself. Sitting down with me on the couch, she hugged her knees to her chest and tried her best to talk through her tears, her breath hitching every few words.

  “Max and I went out to dinner and we started talking about getting married eventually – you know I’ve been hinting at a ring for months now. And then we were talking about what kind of house we’d buy together and how many rooms we’d need, and I said we’d need at least four bedrooms. Then he asked why we would need four bedrooms because it’s not like we were going to have kids or anything.” Ryan had always pictured a life of living in the suburbs with a white picket fence, a loving husband, a dog and at least two kids. “And I said, ‘What do you mean we’re not having kids?’ And he said that he works sixty-hour weeks and there was no way in hell he has time for babies. He just wants to spend his spare time with me and he’d rather be relaxing in Cabo than changing dirty diapers.”

  “I thought you and Max already talked about this and that he’d told you that he did want kids,” I said, rubbing her back lightly to comfort her. “But hold that thought for just a sec. I’m grabbing some mint chocolate chip ice cream.” I jumped up to grab the carton from the freezer and a spoon for each of us. We always kept the fridge stocked just in case we had a stressful day and this was always our go-to ritual for moments of crisis like this.

  Ryan shoved a big bite of ice cream in her mouth before replying. “Well, apparently he changed his mind. Or he was just saying that to get me into bed. I don’t know. But he said that he can’t ever see himself being tied down with ‘rugrats’.”

  “I’m so sorry, Ry. I know how much you really want kids. Maybe he will come around in time?”

  “Fuck that, Spence, I broke up with him,” she said angrily.

  “You did what?” My mouth dropped open in shock.


  “Why should I waste any more time on someone who doesn’t want what I want?”

  She was right, but she had just broken up with him, what, thirty minutes ago? And I knew she was madly in love with him, so no way had she given this decision enough thought.

  “Don’t you think that was maybe a little hasty? I mean, I know how much you love him and maybe he just needs a little time to get used to the idea that it’s a deal breaker for you if he doesn’t want to have kids. Give him a chance to change his mind or think about it more seriously. Maybe you could have tried going to counseling together?”

  Ryan still looked furious, but then her shoulders slumped and she bit her lip uncertainly. “I don’t know, Spence. Do you really think I fucked up by breaking up with him?”

  I took another bite of ice cream and sighed. “I just know how good you guys are together and I think you could have put more effort into trying to work it out first.”

  “Maybe, but I was just so mad. It felt like he’s just been lying to me all this time.” Fresh tears burst into her eyes and she tossed her spoon on the coffee table.

  Putting the ice cream down, I hugged her tightly again and pulled her up off the couch to march her to the bathroom. “What you need is a long, hot shower and then off to bed with you. You’ll think more rationally and feel better in the morning after a good night’s rest.”

  “Like I could sleep,” she muttered, but she turned the shower on.

  “Well, you know I am here for you if you need me,” I said and then closed the bathroom door.

  A little while later after Ryan got out of the shower, I heard her go into her room. After my movie was over, I headed to my room. But first I stopped at Ryan's door, wanting to check on her. As I leaned my ear close to the door and heard her crying, my heart ached for her. Ryan had always been tough, but even tough people needed hugs. I wanted to go comfort her, but decided that I would let her have some alone time while she processed everything. In the morning, I would start my best friend therapy for her. I prayed to myself that they would eventually be able to talk things through and get back together because they were perfect for each other.